WTF, mate? Who is this? (fucking kangaroos.)

This whole blogging thing is fairly new to me. Not new like, "what the eff is the Internet,"-new, but new like I've never made one before. It seems a little narcissistic to start off with a personal ad-type pile of crap chock-full of useless information about myself, but I'm kind of into that, so here we go...

1. I lied. I'm not narcissistic. I'm just the raddest thing since Fruit Loops. Is that my fault?

2. I say "rad" still. Lots.

3. I'm married to a supersuperawesome guy. He's the bees knees, really.

4. I read $2 stupid celeb-gossip magazines like a freakin crackhead.

5. I teach high school. It's insane... I get paid to bug the shit out of teenagers. How rad is that?

6. I totally teach in the ghetto, and I learn slang from my gangmember students.

7. I think that my gangmember students are the shit. Except that whole "in a gang" thing. Not a fan of that part.

8. I, evidently, think that every animal in the world looks like my dog. I'm seriously deranged. I'll be like, "Hey, you see that crackhead squirrel with the missing eye and the deformed ear? It looks like Joe!!!"

9. I am desperately attempting to work up the courage to tell people off. And get a tattoo.

10. If you don't think I'm funny, join the fucking club. Then, go play in traffic - I don't like you. (See #9)