OMG, you guys.
Did you know that doing laundry more than once every 6 months is a good thing?
Saturday, March 6
The Human Laundromat
Posted by SuburbanActress at 6:41 PM 0 comments
Wednesday, February 24
What do babies, Donald Trump and pterodactyls have in common?
Sooooooooo, it's been a while, eh?
Posted by SuburbanActress at 10:52 PM 2 comments
Tuesday, August 12
Didja?
Did you know that TABLE TENNIS is an olympic sport???
Posted by SuburbanActress at 11:03 PM 4 comments
Friday, July 25
Happy Birthday to me?
I'm just about a week away from turning the big 2-7, and I'm desperately trying to convince myself that I'm not too horribly old, that those aren't really faint wrinkles, and that a husband, a mortgage, and 2 dogs does not make me my mother...
Then I run into a former student of mine. Drinking at a bar. Legally.
Shit.
Posted by SuburbanActress at 9:35 AM 4 comments
Thursday, July 3
Crack is your fiend?
My parents are coming into town today to see our new house.
Posted by SuburbanActress at 1:06 PM 7 comments
Sunday, May 4
As if you care...
I'm starting to think that if I had a superpower, the best one would be the ability to never have to wash and blow-dry my hair again.
But it'd look and smell like I did.
There. I said it.
Posted by SuburbanActress at 1:57 PM 4 comments
Wednesday, April 16
Little Gold Boxes
Do you remember the packaging from your favorite toy when you were little? Mine was those little My Little Pony packs with the pony all encased in plastic that you had to rip off the cardboard backing. They always came with some innane accessory that you only used the day you bought it, like the little comb or something.
How exciting was that box? The smell of new plastic, and the little accessories all laid out and ready to play. Sometimes, if the toy came in a particularly cool box, you'd want to save it for no apparent reason, just to put the toy back in it and open it again.
My new camera and 2 lenses came in these little matching gold Nikon boxes that gave me that same feeling all over again. Looking at the piles of them in the store, and being handed the 3 that were now mine. I feel like I'm freakin 5. The excitement and anticipation that I felt cracking open the box and unwrapping all the little peices...
I love this.
Posted by SuburbanActress at 7:17 AM 1 comments
Thursday, March 27
A letter to my long lost love
Dear internet,
Oh how I miss you. It has been weeks since we parted, and my life without you is empty. I get to work on time, I get things acomplished, yes. But if only I had known it would be at the expense of time spent in my chair staring at you for hours, I'd take it all back. You were always so reliable, there whenever I needed you. You always provided me with entertainment in various forms - your myspace, your blogspot, your youtube. Oh how I miss your youtube. I don't know how to get through my day without seeing skateboarding accidents, dogs doing human-like tricks, and remakes of music videos with stick figures changing the words to what it sounds like the singer is saying, but isn't.
Things are looking bleak here. It seems as though I won't be able to see your smiling screen for another two weeks. The only comforting news I have for you is that my shiney new cushy chair is waiting, my desk is unpacked in anticipatipon. I will gaze upon you soon.
Love,
Me
Posted by SuburbanActress at 7:47 AM 1 comments
Tuesday, March 4
I bet the youngest can buy vodka by now...
Or at the very least, his own porno.
Jeeeeeezus, I feel old. ish.
btw, when did the oldest get kind of hot? And kind of resemble old school Heath Ledger? You know, like, before he bellied up from the horrible stress of fame... (too soon?) Middle one still looks like an Olsen twin, though. Yeesh - that's irony for you. Fo shizz.
Good luck with your comeback, Hanson, you'll need it. I still have yet to meet anyone who actually admits to buying your first album. (I swear, it wasn't mine... I borrowed it from a friend)
Posted by SuburbanActress at 8:44 PM 3 comments
Monday, March 3
The joy found in a lack of pills
I took my class to the computer lab to type their poems, which is usually a pretty mundane day for me:
Walk class to lab.
Watch them type.
Yell at someone to get the freak off myspace.
Watch them type.
Try to entertain myself with my non-populated email inbox.
Watch them type.
Scold someone loudly for looking at half nekkid pictures of Kim Kardashian. (Dumbass)
Sit there with my thumb up my ass...
Watching them type.
I did a quick round to make sure they were all on task, and I notice that Jake is on Microsoft Paint, scribbling away like a bat out of hell... for no apparent reason.
Before I can say a word...
Jake: WHAT AM I DOING???!! I AM SOOOO A.D.D.!!!!!!!
Closes paint window and gets back to pretending to type.
The best part is, I don't even think he knew I saw him.
Later... and also for no apparent reason...
Jake: Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, AN UNMEDICATED BOY!
Gestures to self, whom is *truly* unmedicated for the time being.
Posted by SuburbanActress at 7:52 PM 1 comments